9 things to do to a book you hate (while missing the class about it)

So I'm an English major, and so far I've quite liked most of the things I've read. There is, however, a glaring exception. A terrible terrible exception. The dreaded book to which I refer is called Madness and Civilization. It's a classic, you may have heard of it. But instead of reading it, I decided to use it for other, more useful things. 

Like ammunition! (This is my most excellent boyfriend who joins me in profaning notable published works.) 

Why read it, when you can contribute to landfills, instead? 

Or use it to keep doors open...

Or as a pillow...

Or as a quick fix for shoddy masonry...

Protect the grass from dripping paint! 

You can even cut down trees with it, if you feel like being ironic. 

Prevent the wasting of good mead! 

Or, use it as a speed bump to protect those children at play. 

Fuck, I still have 123 pages left. 

Today's Word of the Day:

IRASCIBLE! Adjective - describing (as an adjective does...) someone who is easily made angry. For full effect, pair it with a nice ignoramus! Or perhaps an aromatic buffoon!

"Irascible Blackguard" is something I've always wanted to say to someone, but I've never really had the opportunity. I realize this is an odd post, the phrase just came to mind because I was thinking of The Decemberists "The Hazards of Love", who I'm borrowing it from. I just love the sound of that word. Irascible.

One day I'll say it to someone without having to orchestrate an entire conversation around its making sense. And it'll sting like a bitch, because that's one hell of a word. Well it's actually not that much of an insult unless you say it with something else, but that doesn't stop it from being cool.

Well hello there.

Hello internet! I'm not going to really tell you about me because I am a) a bit lazy and not up to summarizing myself and my life at the mo, and b) because you'll probably get a good idea of who I am anyways through the posts, pictures and videos that I'll hopefully be posting if I keep up with this thing. It's not going to be any specific type of blog...I'll try to keep it classy, as I strive to do in everyday life, although in reality I am much more common and prone to swearing than is ladylike. Ah well. This is my bloody blog, and I'll do what I damn well like!